LIVEUPMYLIFE
LOL..back back back to bloggging! :D
2 months of MIA..wahahaha.
but sooon to disappear again tooo! :D
busy with life,work & stuffs...etc.
anyway..im back for goood and bad!* :D
---------------------------------------------
...feeling LOST...
...feeling Lonely...
...feeling trappped...
...feeling SUICIDAL...

..it came back again ): & im really needed help.
someone please pull me back from hell..
--------------
started internship at st.regis hotel for a week.
loving <3 my life & time spent there! :D
gotttta learn lots lots things and make new friends.
everyday, 10 to 14 hours of work shift! (:
getting used to it :D
------------
hurt my palm today while washing the blade of the meat slicer! -.-"
DUMBASS me..luckily chef wayne, the butcher was around... :D
idiot him, still can laugh at my wound..

had a slight fever yesterday...
today super downluck day! ):
gonna go rest now! :D gooooodbyes!~

**GRACEKOH-thanks for your help tooo! loves♥

WatchMERISEagain
finally, another week zoomed past me! (:
life passes slowly, smoothly & joyfully.
having not work at Indulge for a week
& getting used to working at production.
braces myself up from where i fell..
was halfway there...:D
---------------------------------------------
had the most fufiling week of the month! (:
went swissotel,the stamford for a pastry seminar
met chefs there & a wholesome great buffet food! (:
& not forgetting a short kitchen tour! :D WOW!
------
just now went to mandarin Oriental Hotel for Hi-tea
and prize presentation for the competitors
whom joined USA turkey competition! :D
admission was FREE though! :D hahaha.
had myself enjoyed alot! :D
------
went to charcoal for dinner ALONE
not any of my friends were available around 6.15pm! LOL.
ohwell,somethings unpleasant happened..
but i'm not pursuing the matter!
as i'm once like you guys! :D
jiayou juniors & cook the best food out of your passion.! (:
"CHEF WILLIAMTOH thanks for your dinner treat!"♥
-------------------------------
found a new attachment place! :D HOTEL!
not confirm yet..so shan't reveal the place! (:
but is a hotel, that i always wanna be in! :D
**those who know me well, should know it! :D

HAPPYBIRTHDAYKANE'Ong♥♥
stupidly, received a message from him..
& announced that he had a secret for me to keep.
& guessed what?..
telling me it's his bday today!! LOL.
KANE..Let's have lunch after service on SUNDAY! :D
-----------------------
Went back to school at 10am.
talked to Mr.GeorgeKoh,Chef Stewart & Ms Binly.
regarding about my resignment of my current workplace.
(kind of phobiatic & confused)
chef kelvin then phone me up..
persuading me & inviting me to return back to work.
well..since i decided to leave..
i shall not be returning back..well..
True Enough..you understood 70% of me
True Enough..you know what i need & want
True Enough..you know everthing!
Yes,True Enough..I'm flustered with a troubled mind.
Thank ChefKelvin for being merciful towards me..
-------------------------------
meanwhile, i'll start searching for another workplace.
this time, probably a hotel..as recommended.
& returning back to School to do 4-weeks SFT!..
nothing to hide, nothing embarrassing about..
it's also just part of a training process too..

I'm very very very tired & sleepy now...
just a short 3 months..so sickening to walk le.
----------------------------
Honkit: i know you would be here reading..well..
.............try keepng the comments to yourself okay..
............and not asking me "What had happened!" (:
........... thankyou! ,will not be entertained...

Eduranceisgreatlyneeded!!!
its a rather rocky week again.
felt so moody,sad & lost.
it isn't moodswings,but it was...
STRESS!
-------------------
went to meet chef adrian aft work.
regarding bout my attachment troubs..
hmm,asked shawn along..
but didnt know shawn actually waited for me to knock off (:
thanks buddy! (:

aft that, buse-d to cuscaden patio pub.
chat,laughed & basically sharing.
then aufa came & joined in the grievances chats ;D
drank a couple of beer..left @ 12am..
cabbed home with shawn then!♥
-------------------
woke up 11am today..
get myself prepared & bused down to work.
today was a rather random day!
A guy wanna know me in my workplace.
haha! anyway..i ain't interested in him! (:

aft work, supposed to meet shawn for supper...
but last min, i changed my mind.
sorrry boy, make (us) go in hunger tonight! ):
-------------------
well well, tomorrow might be going back to school(SHATEC).
guessed i'm gonna endure till the last bit of my life.
i'll try not to do anything foolish! (:
THANKS to all friends/Chefs that cared! :D

it's 12.26am now! off-day tmr..busy family day tho! (:

i know, this time round..i'm in love with you.

FESTIVALOFPRAISEIN 2 days!!!
whoooo! counting down two days to FOP 2009! :D
managed to take an off-day on sunday! YEAH!
thanks God, thanks Indulge! (:

Firstly, today's post will be something true & gonna said once & for all.
this post is specially posted for MAK HONKIT
and whoever is "freaking" curious & impatient to know!

Reflecting 2 years back, i was down with a major depression.
partly b'cos of some misunderstanding among my friends in my former church
well,slowly,we aren't close anymore.if there's a week or two i am not in church,
none care or perhaps 'i dun make a diffference being there."
i became to pressurize myself to study twice as hard..
hurting myself..overdrugging,suicide attempt.etc
just couldnt control myself, my thoughts..
admitted to NUH for treatment & all..
hopefully it helped me mentally but not spiritually!
During my hospitalisation, some of my church friends came for visiting..
but my heart has hardened.."show no pity please"!
it's you guys that make me in this low-down state..

Thanks God for his calling again!
On 14March2009, my salvation day!
CityHarvestChurch renewed me from all hatred,disappointment in my life
walked through the darkest peak of my depression days.
and convert it to LOVE,more CARE&CONCERN..
Thanks W450 & Pastor KONGHEE! :D

TODAY, though cityharvest has renewed me and
making me grow more in chirst.
I'm still missing my former church.
No more hatred, unhappiness or grudges! (:
BPMC,will still SHINE in my heart forever! :D
PRAISE THE LORD,AMEN!
-------------------------------------------
i'm always trying to hide from people that i am not sick.
bcos thats the most embarassing sickness.
But today, its no longer an issue in my mind.
because, i'm renewed in the hands of God! :D

well, MAK HONKIT, hope this can save 3 passages through sms bah! (:

don't be so impatient can?

peoplecomesandGoes
WOW! It's 7.30am now!For Real.
i'm still so bright-awake.
just couldnt get myself to sleep
though,i'm so weak,tired,hungry & thirsty! ):
my life is really so corrupted! ):

the whole entrie night, my mind has never stopped thinking...
finally, there's a conclusion out of my thoughts..

"letting go of everything & pursue what i deserve most for now"

anyway, don't bother asking me what do i mean by that?
cos, is just for me to know & to ponder! :D

think i'm gonna try getting myself to sleep for like 2hrs
& gonna prepare myself for work later!(:
gooodnight peeps! haha! =P

ohoh...i might be drinking out later again! =P
perhaps that is e remedy to ease my sleep! ):

suddenly,urging to be back to mediacorp again! ):

HAPPYwonderfulBirthdayGerald!♥
DannyAufaReinaEsther♥
my liitle prince birthday today! (:
was called/invited to attend his small party
but i have to work.& sadness overwhelmed the atmosphere ):
-------------SATURDAY------------
work was very very busy. (:
and yes, uncle peter has been very nice & 'quite' patient.
thou sometimes, i'm always the one to upset him! =P
i still never regret working here tho! (;

aft work, went to cuscaden pub to drink & chill! :D
drank 5 mugs of SanMiguel Beer.
well, not drunk but almost losing conscious! =P
feelingso..sad/confused/tired! ):
reached home at 4am..bathe & slept! :D
-----------TODAY-----------
baked some cookies for liitleprince bday! :D
despite of the Semi-drunkard-ness of me last night.
still, i've to keep myself awake to go to work! :D
did some cleaning in kitchen..& service was still okay.
Lobsters & seafood day! orders just keep coming in..arghhh!
it was quite a rather good day, i guessed! :D
----------------------
went EMO suddenly & felt so so so so upset & tired.
wasn't thinking alot, but feeling abit Lost.
hmmmm..sorry reina babe! ):


disappointment

The lord is always a present help in our lives, even if we can't see him or hear him "jesus christ is the same, yesterday, today and forever!"



My name is Esther Tang.
City Harvester W450
BPMCIAN 1735, God's child♥
Birthday on every 22January:D
SINGLE for GOD
SHATEC DCS0408B♥

wishlist.

Adult baptism!

Christmas celebration!

GPA transcript 3.0 above

score As/Bs for Exams

DCS Diploma cert★

Moremore friends xD

Red/white PSP!

Driving license!

Samsung Jet(Black)♥

Ipod player :D

affiliates.

CHC♥ 1735♥
Family---
Aaron! benjamin! IvanToh!
Lovelies---
Delwin! Joanne! Michelle! Serene!
CityHarvester---
Amenda! Rachel! LiJun! matthew!
Sandra! SongNing! YiQuan! Jarrett!
SHATEC---
Aufa! Benson! Dixon! Guishan! Johnny! Jessica! Jeff! Kenneth! Matt! Pearlin! Paulchua!
BPMCIAN---
Enwei! Honkit! SiYuan! Jonathan! JianEn! Kane! ROYTAY! Vivian! Media.Friends---
Adriano! Chuxuan! DasmondKoh! DerrickHo! MichelleTay! MarkLee! JoshuaAng! Quan Yifong! zhiyang!
---
Facebook! Friendster! Tagged!

playlist.